Free Resources / Writing Sample Answers

Cambridge 16 Writing Task 1 Test 2 - Sample Answers (Band 9 to 4-5)

Real band 9, 8, 7 and 6.5 sample answers for this prompt, plus a genuine band 4-5 answer so you can see exactly what pulls a score down. Every sample comes with examiner-style notes on Task Achievement, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range & Accuracy.

The Prompt

Manufacturing Process for Making Sugar from Sugar Cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The Data

How sugar is produced from sugar cane (7 stages)

1. Harvesting: Sugar cane is cut and collected from fields

2. Crushing: Cane is crushed to extract the juice

3. Purifying juice: Juice is filtered and cleaned to remove impurities

4. Boiling: Purified juice is heated until it thickens into syrup

5. Centrifuge: Syrup is spun at high speed to separate sugar crystals

6. Drying and cooling: Sugar crystals are dried and cooled to produce the final product

7. Sugar (end product): Refined sugar is packaged and distributed

Want feedback like this on your own writing?

Sign up free →

Band 9

212 words

Correctly identifies the two central stages that mark the shift from liquid to solid sugar, rather than simply listing all seven steps.

The diagram illustrates the manufacturing process through which sugar cane is converted into refined sugar, consisting of seven sequential stages from harvesting through to the finished product.

Overall, the process is a linear sequence with no cyclical or return stages, moving the raw cane through mechanical, chemical, and thermal treatments until it emerges as a packaged consumer product, with the two central stages, boiling and centrifuging, marking the transition from liquid to solid sugar.

The process begins when sugar cane is harvested, cut, and collected directly from the fields. It is then transported to a processing facility, where it is crushed in order to extract the raw juice contained within the cane stalks. This juice subsequently undergoes a purification stage, during which it is filtered and cleaned to remove plant fibre and other impurities, leaving a clarified liquid ready for further processing.

Following purification, the juice is boiled until it thickens into a dense syrup. This syrup is then spun at high speed in a centrifuge, a mechanical process that separates solid sugar crystals from the remaining liquid. The crystals are subsequently dried and cooled before being packaged as refined sugar, marking the completion of a process that transforms raw agricultural material into a finished retail product across these seven interconnected stages.

Examiner Notes

Task Achievement: Accurately covers all seven stages in the correct sequence with a clear overview identifying the process as linear and highlighting the two stages marking the transition from liquid to solid.

Coherence & Cohesion: Clear overview followed by chronological detail, linked with accurate sequencing language ("subsequently", "following purification").

Lexical Resource: Wide range of precise process vocabulary ("clarified", "centrifuge", "agricultural material") used accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Wide range of accurate structures, including passive voice used appropriately for describing a process.

Band 8

164 words

Accurate and clearly organised, just slightly less varied in its vocabulary than a band 9 answer.

The diagram shows the process used to manufacture sugar from sugar cane, which involves seven main stages from harvesting to the final product.

Overall, the process follows a clear step-by-step sequence, beginning with the raw cane and ending with packaged sugar, with the juice changing from a liquid into solid crystals partway through the process.

First, sugar cane is harvested and collected from the fields. It is then crushed to extract the juice, which is filtered and cleaned in a purifying stage to remove impurities. After this, the purified juice is boiled until it becomes a thick syrup.

The syrup is then placed in a centrifuge, where it is spun at high speed to separate the sugar crystals from the remaining liquid. These crystals are dried and cooled, and the final product is then packaged and distributed as refined sugar, completing the seven-stage manufacturing process. Throughout the process, no stage is skipped or repeated, and each step depends directly on the one before it.

Examiner Notes

Task Achievement: Covers all seven stages accurately with a clear overview, including the liquid-to-solid transition, though described a little more simply than in the band 9 answer.

Coherence & Cohesion: Clearly organised with an overview followed by chronological detail; cohesive devices are accurate throughout.

Lexical Resource: Good range of process vocabulary, though slightly less varied than the higher-band answer's phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Accurate throughout, with a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including passive forms.

Band 7

162 words

All seven stages are correctly reported, but the key liquid-to-solid transition is only loosely mentioned rather than clearly highlighted.

The diagram shows how sugar is made from sugar cane. There are seven steps in total, starting with harvesting and ending with packaged sugar.

Overall, the process starts with harvesting the cane and ends with packaged sugar, and the juice changes from liquid to solid sugar during the process.

First, the sugar cane is harvested from the fields. Then it is crushed to get the juice out. The juice is then purified to remove impurities.

After that, the juice is boiled and becomes syrup. This syrup goes into a centrifuge, which spins it to separate the sugar crystals. Finally, the crystals are dried and cooled, and the sugar is packaged and sent out as the finished product. Each of these seven steps happens only once and in a fixed order, moving the raw cane steadily closer to becoming the finished, packaged sugar that is eventually sold in shops and used widely in food production around the world, from baking to soft drinks.

Examiner Notes

Task Achievement: Reports all seven stages accurately with a basic overview, but the overview does not clearly identify which stages mark the liquid-to-solid change the way the higher-band answers do.

Coherence & Cohesion: Clearly organised in chronological order, though the stages are listed with fairly plain connecting language throughout.

Lexical Resource: Adequate range for the task; some repetition of "then" as the main sequencing word.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Generally accurate, mostly simple sentence structures with some passive forms; meaning is always clear.

Band 6.5

161 words

All seven stages are correctly reported, but agreement and passive-voice errors appear in almost every sentence.

The diagram show how sugar is make from sugar cane. There is seven step in total, starting with harvesting and ending with packaged sugar.

Overall, the process start with harvesting the cane and end with packaged sugar, and the juice change from liquid to solid sugar during the process.

First, the sugar cane is harvest from the field. Then it is crush to get the juice out. The juice is then purify to remove impurity.

After that, the juice is boil and become syrup. This syrup go into centrifuge, which spin it to separate the sugar crystal. Finally, the crystal is dry and cool, and the sugar is package and send out as the finish product. Each of this seven step happen only once and in a fixed order, moving the raw cane steadily closer to becoming the finish, package sugar that is eventually sold in shop and use widely in food production around the world, from baking to soft drink.

Examiner Notes

Task Achievement: Reports all seven stages accurately, matching the content of the band 7 answer.

Coherence & Cohesion: Clearly organised in chronological order, following the same structure as the higher-band answers.

Lexical Resource: Limited by "step", "field", and "crystal" being used without their plural forms throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Frequent subject-verb agreement and passive-voice errors ("diagram show", "is harvest", "is crush") appear in nearly every sentence.

Band 4-5 - What to Avoid

41 words

Four of the seven stages are missing entirely, and a personal opinion is inserted into what should be a factual process report.

This show how sugar is made from cane.

They crush it and boil it and make sugar. I think sugar is bad for health so this process not good.

The machine do this job, this is my opinion about this diagram.

Examiner Notes

Task Achievement: Only two of the seven stages (crushing and boiling) are mentioned, four stages including harvesting, purifying, and centrifuging are missing entirely, and a personal opinion about sugar's health effects is inserted, which has no place in a Task 1 report. At well under 150 words, the response is also underlength.

Coherence & Cohesion: Reads as disconnected remarks rather than a chronological account of the process.

Lexical Resource: Vague, repetitive vocabulary ("crush it and boil it") used instead of the specific process terms shown in the diagram.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Frequent errors throughout ("this show", "the machine do this job").

Practise this exact prompt yourself, with a live timer and word count

Free to sign up, no credit card required.

Sign Up Free →

These sample answers are written independently for Prep IELTS Now to illustrate real band-score differences. They are a study aid, not official Cambridge or IELTS material.