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Cambridge 20 Writing Task 1 Test 1 - Sample Answers (Band 9 to 4-5)
Real band 9, 8, 7 and 6.5 sample answers for this prompt, plus a genuine band 4-5 answer so you can see exactly what pulls a score down. Every sample comes with examiner-style notes on Task Achievement, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range & Accuracy.
The Prompt
New York City Population by District (1800–2000)
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The Data
Total population of New York City
1800: 79,216
1900: 3,437,202
2000: 8,009,185
Manhattan (population and % of city total)
1800: 60,515 (76%)
1900: 1,850,093 (54%)
2000: 1,538,096 (19%)
Other districts combined: Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island (population and % of city total)
1800: 18,701 (24%)
1900: 1,587,109 (46%)
2000: 6,471,089 (81%)
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192 wordsSelects the one comparison that matters most and states it clearly: exactly what a high-scoring Task 1 overview should do.
The tables compare the total population of New York City between 1800 and 2000, alongside how that population was distributed between Manhattan and the city's four other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island) over the same period.
Overall, New York's population expanded dramatically across the two centuries, rising from just 79,216 in 1800 to over 8 million by 2000, a hundredfold increase. This growth, however, was accompanied by a striking reversal in where residents were concentrated.
In 1800, the population was heavily centred in Manhattan, which accounted for 76% of the city's 79,216 inhabitants, leaving the other four districts combined with a mere 24%. By 1900, this balance had shifted considerably, with Manhattan's share falling to 54% as the other districts' population surged past 1.5 million, giving them 46% of the total.
By 2000, the pattern had reversed entirely. Manhattan held only 19% of New Yorkers, its population having actually fallen from 1,850,093 in 1900 to 1,538,096, despite the city as a whole continuing to grow. Meanwhile, the other four districts expanded to more than 6.4 million residents, or 81% of the total, a more than fourfold rise since 1900 alone.
Examiner Notes
Task Achievement: Covers every key trend (overall growth, and the reversal in where the population was concentrated) with a clear overview separated from supporting detail. The single most striking comparison, Manhattan's population actually falling while the city kept growing, is identified and reported as a highlight, not buried among other numbers.
Coherence & Cohesion: A dedicated overview paragraph precedes chronologically ordered detail; cohesion is smooth throughout ("however", "by 1900", "meanwhile") without ever feeling mechanical.
Lexical Resource: Precise, varied language for describing change and proportion ("heavily centred", "surged", "a hundredfold increase", "a more than fourfold rise") with accurate handling of all figures and percentages.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Wide range of accurate structures, passive voice, participle clauses ("its population having actually fallen"), comparatives, used with full control.
Band 8
179 wordsReports the same facts as the band 9 answer accurately, but repeats a vague phrase where a sharper one was available.
The tables give information about how New York City's total population changed between 1800 and 2000, and how this population was divided between Manhattan and the other four districts of the city over the same period.
Overall, the population of New York grew hugely during this 200-year period, from 79,216 people in 1800 to over 8 million in 2000. However, the way this population was shared between Manhattan and the rest of the city changed a great deal.
In 1800, most people lived in Manhattan, which had 76% of the total population, while the other four districts only had 24%. By 1900, the situation had changed a lot, with Manhattan's share dropping to 54% while the other districts grew to 46%, reaching over 1.5 million people.
By 2000, this trend had continued even further. Manhattan now only had 19% of the population, and its number of people had actually gone down slightly, from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096. On the other hand, the other four districts grew to more than 6 million people, making up 81% of the city's total population.
Examiner Notes
Task Achievement: All key trends are covered accurately with clear comparisons and a genuine overview. It reports the fall in Manhattan's population but doesn't flag it as the single most notable feature the way the band 9 answer does, so the overview is slightly less sharply focused.
Coherence & Cohesion: Clearly organised by time period with logical paragraphing; cohesive devices ("However", "On the other hand") are used accurately, though "changed a great deal" / "changed a lot" repeats.
Lexical Resource: Good range of vocabulary for describing change ("grew hugely", "dropping", "making up"), let down slightly by that repeated, less precise phrase for describing the shift.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Wide range of sentence forms with good control overall; rare minor errors that don't affect meaning.
Band 7
158 wordsThe numbers are right and the structure is sound, but the same two or three phrases are doing all the descriptive work.
The tables show the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000, and also how the population was divided between Manhattan and the other four districts of the city in this time.
Overall, the population of the whole city became much bigger over the 200 years, going from 79,216 in 1800 to more than 8 million in 2000. But the amount of people living in Manhattan compared to the other districts changed a lot.
In 1800, Manhattan had most of the population, 76%, and the other four districts only had 24%. In 1900, this was different, Manhattan had 54% and the other districts had 46%, so it was almost equal between them.
In 2000, Manhattan only had 19% of the population and the number of people actually became smaller, from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096. The other four districts became much bigger, growing to more than 6 million people, which was 81% of the population in the city.
Examiner Notes
Task Achievement: Covers the key comparisons and reports figures accurately, but the overview blends into the following paragraph rather than standing apart, and "changed a lot" is used instead of naming what the change actually was.
Coherence & Cohesion: Follows the data logically by time period, but paragraphing runs together slightly and cohesion relies on simple, repeated connectors ("But", "So", "In [year]").
Lexical Resource: Adequate vocabulary for describing change ("became much bigger", "became smaller") but limited range: the same two or three phrases for growth/decline are reused instead of varied paraphrase.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Mix of simple and complex sentences with generally good control; one run-on sentence ("In 1900, this was different, Manhattan had 54%...") should have been split in two.
Band 6.5
162 wordsAll the right numbers are here, but the overview is buried at the end instead of leading the answer, and grammar errors are frequent.
The table show information about population of New York City between 1800 and 2000. It also show how the population is divided in Manhattan and other four district of the city.
Overall, population of New York become very big in this 200 year, from 79,216 people in 1800 to more than 8 million in 2000. But the part of people who live in Manhattan compare to other district is change very much, and this change happen more and more over the time.
In 1800, Manhattan have 76% of all population and other four district only have 24%. In 1900, Manhattan have 54% and other district have 46%, so it become more close to equal between them.
In 2000, Manhattan only have 19% of population and number of people become less, from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096. Other four district become more bigger, they have more than 6 million people, this is 81% of population in city, which show most people now live outside Manhattan.
Examiner Notes
Task Achievement: The main trends are present and the key figures are all reported, and the last sentence does attempt an overview-style comment, but it comes at the end instead of at the start, so it reads as a leftover observation rather than the main point of the answer.
Coherence & Cohesion: Paragraphing broadly follows the structure of the data, but cohesion is basic and repetitive ("But", "So", "In [year]") and referencing ("this change") is a little vague.
Lexical Resource: Limited vocabulary for describing change and comparison; word forms are frequently wrong ("population is divided", "become more close", "become more bigger") in place of a correct comparative.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Frequent grammatical errors, especially subject-verb agreement ("table show", "Manhattan have", "district have") and article use ("other four district"). Noticeable throughout, but the meaning stays followable.
Band 4-5 - What to Avoid
115 wordsEvery number is correct, but reading it feels like being handed the raw table back: there's no overview and no real comparison.
This table is about population of New York City. It show number from 1800 to 2000. Also it show Manhattan and other four place in city.
In 1800 the population is small, only 79,216. Manhattan have big part of this, 76 percent. Other place have 24 percent only.
In 1900 the population become more big, 3,437,202. Manhattan is 54 percent now. Other place is 46 percent.
In 2000 population is very big, 8,009,185 people. Manhattan is small now, only 19 percent. Other place is big, 81 percent.
In conclusion the population of New York grow a lot and Manhattan change from big to small, this is what table show us about the city population history.
Examiner Notes
Task Achievement: There is no genuine overview: the answer simply lists each year's figures in turn instead of identifying which features are the most significant (Manhattan's shrinking share, or its falling actual population). This is the single biggest reason a report like this scores low on Task Achievement even though every number in it is correct. At 115 words it is also well under the 150-word minimum, which caps the score further.
Coherence & Cohesion: Paragraphing mechanically follows one year per paragraph with no real connection between them beyond repeating "In [year]"; there is no overview paragraph and no genuine comparison language anywhere in the answer.
Lexical Resource: Extremely limited range: "is small", "is big", "have" are repeated throughout instead of varied reporting language (rose, fell, accounted for, made up). This repetition alone is heavily penalised at band 4-5.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Basic subject-verb agreement errors appear in nearly every sentence ("It show", "Manhattan have", "Other place is 46 percent"), and the writing reads as a string of short, disconnected statements rather than developed sentences.
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